Arranged Marriage meeting: Question and tips

I totally understand how you are feeling right now. I know, they just don’t understand this, How can I go and meet some random guy, and in just one meeting decide whether to marry or not.

You might also have doubts, “M I really ready for marriage?” Or “Arranged Marriage?”

Finally, Your Mom’s Emotional Attyachar succeeded and here you are, said yes to the meeting the boy.

U know what? Even I made a huge fuss about talking to my now husband over the phone for the first time. And much bigger tantrums when they asked for a meeting. Now I feel thankful to my Mom for not letting me win.

So go for it, you might win a lottery.

So here I will be mentioning important 27 points: question and tips so that you can slay the meeting.

01. Prepare for it:

Remember you are the examiner as well as the examinee. You must prepare questions as well as answers.

Go through his social media profiles, his biodata. So you will understand his job profile, education, likes, if he is sporty, nerd, party animal, tracking, if he spends time with family and friends etc.

02. Notes:

List down a few common interests, And few topics you can start the conversation on.

03. Meeting place:

Meet at the public place but they should not be loud and crowded.go for café, restaurants or malls etc.

04. Talk over the phone at least once before the meeting:

If you are meeting at home, in front of family, then at least talk to him over the phone once.

05. Do not go with a pre-decided mindset:

With a pre-decided mindset, you won't able to see what you should see and may reach the wrong conclusion.

06. Be on time:

Its bad manners and a large mood off when someone doesn’t reach at the place on time. It's better if you mutually decide, date, place time of the meeting.

07. Wear Accordingly:

Wear something which suits you, which will enhance your personality, in which you are comfortable and confident in. I have written on the same topic. What to wear on an arranged marriage meeting.

08. Be natural:

Even if you were not willing for this meeting, do not act rude and non-interested, because it's not only about you, even the guy has invested his time in this.

09. Be confident:

Don’t be nervous or shy away. Be confident, Start with a simple conversation, ask about when they reached or how much time they took to reach there.

10. Order something:

Make sure, something which is comfortable to eat in front of strangers, mostly beverages. Do not try to look for his nature by his way of calling the waiter, it's so old technique. No one does that nowadays, everyone is aware of that.

11. Ask about the city.

What do they think about the city? Places to visit, traffic, roads, pollution, people, etc. from this question you will understand how is the person in his observation if he has a liking for travelling and going to places. If he loves travelling then he himself will divert that topic to there. If he is an environment lover then he will reach to the pollution, if he's into politics he will go to the roads and traffic problem and how govt is responsible for that.

12. Ask about his job.

Don’t go for his future career plan and “what he looks himself in future 5 years?” that’s very old and cliché question. Just ask him about what is his job about, you will understand how much interested he is in his career, Certainly, you may not interested in marrying a person who will cry every morning for going to the office.

13. Ask a question about his education:

No, not questions like, which college and which degree, you must know this beforehand, Ask about his school life, college life, hostel life and additional courses. Later you can ask why he chose that field.

14. Ask a question about Family:

Questions like “So do you often attend family functions?” “You like them?” he will tell you about functions as well as how often the whole family come together and how they have fun. Also if he asks you back, you can tell how aunties question about your marriage in functions just to lighten the mood. From this question, you will understand how close he is with his family. how much importance he gives to them.

15. Ask about his siblings and parents:

The person who loves his mother and help her in household works, grab him because this quality is rarest of all. It shows his respect for women. Ask about his brother’s/sister’s education/job. If he loves them he will tell all the achievements they have.

16. Ask about growing up:

Personality doesn’t develop overnight, it builds, brick by brick, right from the childhood, so if he openly tells about his childhood, all with a smile and happiness in his every word, understand that his childhood was awesome, no trauma, no psychological issues. In case you don't know how to reach there you can start with technology, “we didn’t know what phone is then”. Etc.

17. Ask about his best friends:

Generally, a person’s company decides what kind of person he is, while checking on his background you will go and ask their neighbours and all, but true colours come out in front of friends. You won't be able to understand the whole thing but at least make sure to know what kind of friends he has, their jobs and all.

18. Finally, you can ask what he is looking for in a girl:

This is quite an obvious question; this will help you to know where do you stand.

19. Do not lie:

Be confident, do not shy away. Do not lie or exaggerate. Do not hesitate to answer anything you are comfortable about. In case you are not comfortable about telling certain things, and you feel this question was not necessary, express it right away.

20. State your conditions:

You may have certain conditions or demands, ex. no smoking. State it clearly. Observe if he hesitates to reply to that.

21. Listen carefully:

Everyone likes good listeners if you behave inattentively or focusing on your mobile too much then forget about it. Therefore be attentive, give inputs or comments. You can cross-check later on this if you feel he’s lying about anything.

22. Be optimistic:

Do not say, I Don’t like this or I won’t do this in first only. Tell him what you like, what you wish for.

23. Mention your lifestyle and interests:

Let him know what kind of person you are, tell him what you like. Your views on family, career and social activities etc.

24. Frame your question properly:

Do not ask questions as if you are viva examiner or police officer, let it be more of a conversation type.

25. Analyse and observe:

Observe and judge his every move, that's what you are there for. In any point of time if you feel off, or even tiny doubt, just let it go. Do not even try another meeting. Life is too short to take this kind of risks.

26. Next meeting:

Do not hurry for next meeting talks, unless you are pro in understanding people in one go. If you are 100% sure that your profiles are matching then only talk about the next meeting.

27. Do not go for materialistic things:

Looks are just packaging. The real gift is what is inside. See if he is fit and healthy enough. Do not measure one’s value based on their salary or property they own. Rather check how much he is interested in his work, how hardworking he is.

28. A big no:

A big no to certain behaviours and questions, if he asks about virginity, past relationship, dowry, gifts. if you feel he is not listening to you or not letting you talk at all. and self exaggerating. if he feels irritated with the small things, complaining nature. flirting. Asking you to change certain habit of your which you feel not necessary.

Finally, best of luck with your meeting. Be radiant, be yourself. Everything will go as you wish. Sometimes you get to meet few nuisances over there. But do not get frustrated. You will get your life partner.

“Princess no more wait for prince charming to come and complete their life. Instead, they rule their life, and all they look for is an amazing life partner”